51

warfare allied with other unidentified boys my age against girls who were called "turn-outs" in my dream. Invariably we lost and were changed into girls

I had a shock at the age of 10 or 11 when some other boys and I built a "secret club house". I suggested that we paper the inside walls with photos and drawings from magazines and newspapers which pictured women in lingerie and corsets. They all looked at me with surprise and unanimously and soundly in- dicated their disapproval Apparently I had assumed that they would all share my interest. This experience started to cause me to feel "different" from the rest, I believe.

Another experience which may be noteworthy is that I had told a group of boys that my father had shot himself and they didn't believe me. I think that somehow I had come to see this 88 a brave act. I told them that my mother could verify it, When she acted uncomfortable when confronted by us and later told me never to mention this to anyone, I think this was des- tructive of the image I apparently wanted to have of the father of whom I had no memory.

When I was 12 I was sent to live with an aunt while my Mother tried to start another business- I slept in the living room on a couch next to the bedroom of their 18 year old daugh- ter and kept my few things in her room. Several times I walk- ed in innocently while she was in a state of undress Once when the fmily went on an all day trip without me, I "dressed up" in her clothes. This was my first experiance in cross- dressing and I loved it. After a year I returned to live with my Mother and at the first opportunity I dressed in her clothes.

It was not exciting to me and I never did it again.

There were no incidents through the high school period After graduation, however, I had occassion to visit friends and once worked in a summer resort. On both occasions I found an opportunity to dress up using whatever clothes might be found in a dresser drawer. While in the Army I would sometimes rent a room in a private home while on weekend pass and would immed- iately look for an opportunity to go thru drawers to find lin- gerie. After marriage I "dressed up" in my wife's clothes when given the opportunity. I took to buying complete outfits in